While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
