my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
