normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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