I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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