D3 body, D1 cock
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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