Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
