I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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