This house was built for laser tag.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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