and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
high people should be assigned attendants
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize