Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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