So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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