haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
