Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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