Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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