just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize