Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
