she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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