he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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