if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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