It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
