So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
