Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
