Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
