i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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