the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
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