dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
