wanna go halves on a baby?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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