sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
