Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
