pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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