I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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