Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your cock deserves a montage
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
