oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
