i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wear drunk well.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
