I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
