We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
