Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
