why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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