sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
