its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize