I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize