She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
