Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize