Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
