My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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