Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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