Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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