Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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