i just made my gag reflex go away.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
