I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
