Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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