Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
