Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
