i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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