Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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