I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
