just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
