Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
